The Search for A Good Story

Wordpress Move!

2007-05-16T11:07:00.000-04:00

I finally caved and installed a robust blogging system.

Not that it actually improves the tools I have for blogging on the Mac (Mars Edit also sucks, I've found), but you'll need to update your RSS feeds and whatnot accordingly.

You'll find the Blogger data in http://www.misterorange.com/oldblogger

Thanks!

The Vacation Update

2007-05-15T13:55:00.000-04:00

My God, you leave a blog alone for a few weeks and it's like the world is ending.

Well, honestly, this blog needs a little attention. This is that whole "First Step" of that process. I've been doing a lot of those lately. I'm slowly integrating a healthier lifestyle this same way. Bit by bit, step by step.

Anyway: We went on vacation for a week in Myrtle Beach, SC, the first time the family has ever went on a vacation together.

I'd post pictures, but Ecto is a piece of shit. Apparently "Import from iPhoto" doesn't actually, you know, import from iPhoto. I really don't understand why people are so happy about this blogging tool. There are NO good blogging tools for the mac. Seriously. This is pathetic.

You know what I loved? Windows Live Writer. Now there was a good piece of software. Unfortunately the new blogger beta broke the hell out of it. I haven't tried getting it to work in awhile, I might as well go frustrate myself. Not that it still doesn't make it incredibly difficult to get pictures in it, as now I'll have to copy the pictures into the Windows installation, THEN drag + drop them into Live Writer.

And people wonder why I don't post. Because it's a pain in the ass on the mac. Sigh.

Grr. Pictures ASAP. Promise.

Mr. Bush's Mission Accomplished

2007-04-26T18:00:00.000-04:00

I just love slam poetry. I'm enthralled by the lyrical content, the incredible talent it takes to speak in such a sing-songy matter, and the power behind it.

Here's the best I've heard in a while:

2007-04-20T01:22:00.000-04:00

Were we once so innocent?

Check out this video from the 1960's. The girl who the song was written, uh, "for" said she didn't get it for some time...then, sometime explained to her how birds and bees make each other happy in non-reproducing ways and she "hid in her room for months."

Ah, those were the days.

For those who don't speak French (and hey, who doesn't), here are the lyrics:

Annie likes suckers
The anise flavored suckers
The anise flavored suckers
Of Annie
Give her kisses
A aniseed taste
While the creamy sugar
Flavored with anise
Sinks in Annie's throat,
She's in heaven.

For a few pennies, Annie
Has her Anise suckers
They are the color of her big eyes,
The color of happy days

Annie likes suckers
The anise flavored suckers
The anise flavored suckers
Of Annie
Give her kisses
A aniseed taste
When on her tongue,
All but the little stick is done,
She runs as fast as she can
Back to the drugstore.

2007-04-19T20:32:00.000-04:00

Life

It's amazing what you find...

...with stumbleupon.

2007-04-19T01:47:00.000-04:00

Halo + Metroid = Amazing CG Movie

I don't think there's much to be said but Wow. The indie filmmaker sure has a lot of tools they didn't have just ten years ago. This was all done by a single guy! I just can't get over it.

Updates:

Children are fine. Annie is still in the lying stage. We try to coax her out of her ways. You can imagine how persuasive two grown adults can be. Or not.

Sanjaya is gone! Oh man, it's like a weight off my shoulders. I am such a nerd.

Speaking of nerdiness, I'm really excited about Rise of the Titans, my Magic custom set. I've created 265 cards so far. About 40 to go.

Ericka has been working bigtime hours in hopes of our upcoming vacation. I'm not healing as fast as I expected, and I believe I may have to sit out from a trip to San Antonio this weekend. I'm upset that I can't help out my coworkers, the first time I've ever been unable to do so.

2007-04-14T13:38:00.000-04:00

So I got out of the hospital today. I had surgery last night.

Allow me to explain.

Wednesday afternoon I was set to take my mother-in-law home from work. She would have to wait two hours for my father-in-law to come get her or I could use my lunch break. Since I usually just grab something and come back to my desk, I was happy to help.

On the way home, my abdomen began to ache. Really, really badly. Like doubled over, howling in pain to noone, kind of pain.

Needless to say I didn't make it back to work.

Thursday was okay. Not great, I was generally uncomfortable all day long. But it was 'managable.' At this point I thought it was my Hiatal Hernia. The Prilosec I've been taking every day must've stopped working. My belly was swollen and I was half nauseous/sick the whole day. Yesterday morning, however, was the worst. I woke up and felt fine. I hugged on my daughters who had, as usual, snuck into bed with us, and I got up to use the bathroom...

And I barely made it to the toilet before the pain began. Huge waves of it, doubling me over and giving me a few dry heaves. After using said bathroom, and while I was in there howling, Ericka had called my work and told them I wasn't going to be in. The problem with this is, this coming Saturday I fly out to San Antonio, where my job has a week-long conference. I have a bunch of stuff to get done, and not a lot of time to do it.

So we search desperately for doctors and I find one. The first sent us to voicemail, the second said they could see me in 45 minutes. I showed up on time, waited another half hour, and finally saw the doctor.

I tried to explain what was wrong. But it was when I told him I had seen another gastroenterologist that he stopped me.

"I can't treat you," he tells me. At this moment, I begin to panic. My abdomen is on fire, and now I've got to go to this other doctor, this doctor whose insurance mine doesn't cover...

"My insurance doesn't cover him," I say desperately. I honestly felt there may have been some begging involved if things didn't turn around.

"Oh, okay," he said. The relief alone made me feel a bit better.

Then he got to poking. It was obvious that it wasn't my stomach. It was my lower abdomen. On my lower right side, he pushed in--ow--then when he let go, holy shit that hurt.

"It hurt worse when I let go?" he said.

"Oh hell yeah," I said, still wincing.

"Son, you don't have gastritis. You have acute appendicitis."

Oh. Well. Then. Shit.

"You're going to need to get that taken out."

I nod. I'm not one to fret over such matters. Three days in, you don't really give a damn what they do to you.

Off to the ER. "Now," the doctor says to me, "don't be a nice guy. Go to the front desk and demand to see Dr. Berman." I nod and try to not be a nice guy, but I still end up waiting about 10 very long minutes for them to call my name. The girl said she had been working there for just five days. I concurred.

After the IV and the X-Rays were taken, on came the contrast for the CAT scan. Now contrast is apparently Swahili for shitstain, because that's about what it tasted like.

The nurse told me, "Think of it as a bad martini."

Oh, it was bad all right. Keeping it down was a chore in and of itself.

After the CAT scan they doped me up pretty good. The next time I woke up, Ericka had arrived and was holding my hand.

"Honey," she said to me, looking me in the eye, "you've got appendicitis and they're going to put you in surgery in a few hours. The doctor will be back in a little while to talk about it."

All nice and clear. I smiled. The morphine was doing just fine.

The operation was quick and I woke up with the shakes. I hate the shakes. Makes me think I'm hyperventilating and I can't catch my breath. There were nurses around, doing things. Trying to calm me down.

"Mr. Erwin you're okay."

"Mr. Erwin you're in the hospital, you're out of surgery."

"Breathe Mr. Erwin, remember to breathe."

Then I would pass out again.

I woke up in my private room, on the bed. It was getting late and me and Ericka sat through a mediocre episode of CSI: Miami.

The doctor came in and told me it looked like that was the problem, everything else looked fine. He was a young guy and he needed some work on his bedside manner. But overall, cool guy and I thanked him for his work.

It's amazing how you can go from hurting in the morning to surgery in the evening, isn't it?

Anyway, now I'm sore and aching and a little whiny, but my wonderful wife puts up with it. She's gotten me a dinner for kings (or, at least post-appendectomy kings) in the form of biscuits and mashed potatoes and gravy from KFC. It's a "soft" meal that shouldn't make me sick. I hope.

So special thanks to my wonderful wife for being there for me the past few days, my friends and coworkers for their concern, and you guys for still reading this old rag.

2007-04-10T02:09:00.000-04:00

Best Used Car Advice Ever

Can anyone top this?

2007-04-09T17:37:00.000-04:00

Over at Sand in the Gears Tony Woodlief has an interesting take on the .XXX domain problem from a Christian's perspective. I read Tony partly because he's a good writer, but mostly because he's another passionate Christian, and a good one at that (i.e. non-fundamentalist).

Anyway, he thinks that the .XXX domain is being opposed by porn companies/sites because those sites also participate in the selling of censorship software. And that's certainly the problem. The censorship, I mean, not the fact that the porn companies have anything to do with censorship software (though I wouldn't be surprised in the least).

The problem with the .XXX domain isn't that it can be easily filtered by the world. The problem is in its classification. What is porn? Isn't this indicative of the famous phrase, "I know it when I see it?" Because I see it, and I know it, but if I post a picture of a topless woman here, which I have all the right in the world to do, would that mean I need to get misterorange.xxx? What about the nipple cake that Ericka made last year? Would that send me to the pr0n ghetto?

While I'm sure there's a component to this that reeks of industry profits, I think the free speech issue is more relevant and what is actually keeping .XXX out of our lives.

The fact is, if .XXX is ever embraced, we should be worried.

Easter and Scope

2007-04-05T13:43:00.000-04:00

Hello everybody, I return for another update. Let's discuss some things, shall we? I'm going to run the gamut today. It's what happens when you don't blog for awhile.

Blogging

I'm not going to feel bad about not blogging, I'm not going to feel guilty. I owe this blog nothing more than what I put into it. I owe its readers good content when I do publish, but otherwise this blog cannot live up to its blog-every-weekday byline. Why? Because I've put my creative efforts into more fruitful endeavors. I think it doesn't take long to see how the blog's content declined as I began focusing on my YouTube efforts.

In short, making video is a long and tedious process. Blogging, according to Tony, takes ten minutes a day. But I like to spend more time than that. Looking through my archives you'll find that I try to craft something more than "look at this." At least, I tried. From stories of my past to my current outlook, I took a lot of joy in writing them.

Now I take a lot of joy in participating in the Magic community. I'm a card game nerd at heart, and there is no greater joy to me right now than the response I get in that community. It's fun and thrilling to work so hard at something and see such a fantastic embrace from the culture.

So I'll update here periodically. Not every day, but not once a month. I won't forget about ya. Just subscribe the web feed, load it up in your Google Reader (if you aren't using it, you haven't tried it--trust me), and I'll bold myself with a little (1) next to me before ya know it.

Kids

Annie is in straight-up sneaky mode. The girl wants what she wants and she's going to stop at nothing to get it.

The latest has been an obsession with using the large plastic eggs she and Abby have gotten over the past few weeks to hold water. Yes, the eggs that split in two, like you find at any Walgreens in the country, filled halfway with water, and closed up. You'd be surprised (at least, I was) at how water-tight those things are.

"Annie, what is that sloshing?"

"Nothing."

And then, of course, she gets in trouble with lying to me.

You know, if there is one thing that religion can provide for your children, it's free fear. "You keep lying and you're going to go to hell!" Where there is only fire, pain, and liars.

Of course I don't believe in such nonsense, so I discipline Annie the best way I know how. She still lies, of course, just like the kids threatened with damnation, but I'm hoping that she'll grow out of it.

A part of me knows that this lying will probably get worse, not better. But fingers crossed, okay?

Abigail, bless her heart, is a troublemaker. She's also Annie's ultimate scapegoat. Whenever something goes wrong, "Abby did it." Sometimes Abby did do it, but most times not. So that leads to very interesting parental investigations.

Such as, for example, the girls pouring ashes from the fireplace bucket onto the floor, coffee table, and rug. Then adding water. Then rubbing it in.

Which surprisingly did not make Ericka explode into a thousand rage-filled pieces. She stayed in one piece and busted butt accordingly.

Kids. Yeesh.

Reality Check Moment: Annie is going to meet her teacher(s) and sign up for Kindergarten at the end of May. I am such a dad.

Easter and Scope

It's time for Easter. When Christians turn a blind eye to their paganism, hide their eggs, and try to sum up the day with "And remember, this had something to do with the brutal murder of the messiah." It works somehow, I swear. They call it faith.

I recently found a fantastic video of Carl Sagan narrating his famous Pale Blue Dot essay. I suggest you check it out:

It seriously brings a tear to my eye. It also lets you see how small we are in this universe. Beyond small. Like we think of atoms as unreal things, things that don't really affect us. Yet on this small world, there are a myriad of beliefs. A smorgasbord of faiths. Huge groups of humans, all believing that they have the ear of God. They have the answer. They know the truth.

And it's exhausting to think about. And pointless to bicker.

I've come to the realization that there is only one thing that people use religion for: Comfort.

It's comforting to think that there's somebody out there who really, really loves you.

It's comforting to think that there's some nice place you go when you die.

It's comforting to have a community of people believe something for no reason than they heard it from somebody else, was raised that way, or read a book about it.

It's comforting to have a support network, to have something to pray to, to have an out for your fears, frustrations, hopes.

It's comfort I don't really need. It's comfort I can live without. You want to talk to yourself and tell the imaginary guy how you're feeling, who you're thinking about? I'm cool with that. We're human beings, we don't do rational things all of the time. It's not "rational" to believe in a God, but it sure is comforting.

In our time of need? "Oh God, oh God, oh God..."

In times of thanks "Thank you God, thank you God..."

In times of uncertainty "Give me strength, Lord..."

And on it goes. And it's all very comforting. And it's all very nice. And it's a fine way to live your life. But it's also psychologically taxing to children, it's power than can corrupt absolute, and it's a little silly in the scheme of things.

Whenever you want to think of it as something beyond comfort, just remember Carl Sagan.

"We succeeded in taking that picture [from deep space], and if you look at it, you see a dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there ? on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.

The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors, so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds. Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light.

Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves. The Earth is the only world known so far to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our species could migrate. Visit, yes. Settle, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment the Earth is where we make our stand. It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we've ever known."

Possible Conan Replacement in 2009?

2007-03-27T19:33:00.000-04:00

As we all unfortunately know, there will need to be another late night talk show host to follow the Tonight Show with Conan O'Brian in 2009. Apparently Dimitri Martin is getting some buzz.

The following is one of the funniest Daily Show clips I've seen in a long time.

Dimitri 1
Doubters 0

My Friend Killed Himself

2007-03-25T20:39:00.001-04:00

And I'm pissed. And I'm sad. And I'm confused. And I'm hurt.

His name was Zack Davis. He was 17 years old. And he killed himself last Friday. I learned about it, oh...ten minutes ago.

Breathe. I'm alive. He's not alive. Not anymore.

Is he in Hell now, Christ-Followers? Is this the Christian retribution for the ultimate sin?

Atheists don't believe in fairy tales. He's gone. Wherever he's gone, we won't know for now. But he's doing it, right now.

What I do know, and what both Atheists and Christians alike believe, is that it is wrong. That it is stupid. That it is worthless and does no good.

And he was so smart, you know? He was the stereotypical Smart Kid. He got little to no response from girls. He lived in his own mind. He played a lot of World of Warcraft, he could beat the piss out of me in a game of Magic.

But he's not here anymore. He's gone. Dead. I may see his body tomorrow.

I don't like open casket funerals. When I was a kid, everytime you saw an open casket it wasn't too long before that body moved. In the bad TV shows, it was the actor's chest moving. In the movies, they got up and chased the good guy around.

And now Zack will never know how highly I thought of him.

Worse, he never knew how badly I came close to killing myself. At 17, even.

When I was a kid, and I refer to myself at 17 as a kid, so those 17 and older can go ahead and sneer and then years from now agree with me, I was desperately seeking attention. I was too smart for my own good, I had a string of awful internet relationships.

Some of them came to fruition further than others. But back in 1997, I was near rock bottom. Another girl, another string of profoundly exciting emails and instant message sessions.

Her loving words kept me alive. I was tired of school. It bored me horribly and endless nights of video games were causing me to miss classes. My friends were few and far between. I graduated high school early, so I didn't enter the local community college behind a wave of my buddies. I was alone there. I was alone online. My online groups were falling apart, my chat buddies were always busy. She was there.

Let's call her Kristy. I went and saw Kristy who lived in Michigan. Twice.

The first time was a crash and burn disaster. My lack of intimacy experience became apparent within a half hour of my arrival, and the rest of the week offered no chances from her to rectify the situation.

The next week I arrived and waited so long to make the decision to go up there that she didn't recieve my last message that I was headed up there. This time her parents were there. Her sister was there. And there was me. The non-boyfriend who was hanging out for two days.

I spent a few horrid, cringe-inducing hours with her mother, having to explain my jobless life and my girlfriendless existence. Boy, that was fun.

When I got home that winter, I had made my decision. I was tired of it all. The next day at school was a blur. All these people. They wouldn't miss me. They wouldn't notice I was gone. They wouldn't care. They didn't give half a shit for a guy like me.

The whole school wouldn't even blink. My family would mourn, sure. But I was a drag on my mother, a woman who once had a high-paying factory job but was back to answering phones and going to school part-time to make ends meet.

I, being the coward, immediately thought of how many pills it would take to kill me. A handful? A bottleful? Would I have to steal liquor somewhere? How could I do this by myself?

I didn't care. I would take it all. Everything in the cabinet that supposed to cure an ailment I'd take in. I didn't care.

I hopped online to say goodbye to whomever was there. The only guy I saw was a guy named Andy.

"Goodbye Andy," I said.

He asked why. I dodged. He pushed, I resisted. Finally, I told him. And of course he freaked out. And he explained, bit-by-bit, how it was stupid. How it was ignorant. How it would do no one good, from my family to my well being. That I needed help. Or a change. Or something. But not a death certificate.

And through the tears, I agreed with him. And it was silly, really. It was cowardly, for sure, but it was a close call with what may have been, at the least, brain damage from such overdoses.

The next day I took the initiative to go to follow my mother's advice and go by the job office. There I saw an ad for a "Computer Operator" at a local community bank. I was chasing down jobs for KFC and a local computer store, but this was nothing compared to that.

I went on the interview and it went great. A week later they hired me, a 17 year old, taking a chance. From there began my humble career in systems administration.

It just occurred to me it's been almost ten years since that faux suicide attempt. Since my cry for help.

I wonder who Zack's cry went to. I wonder who ignored the signs. The missed appointments or the unreturned calls. The text messages that were never read.

Zack was always one of the first to give his opinion on The Magic Show, what he liked and what he didn't. I really respected the feedback and it made me happy when he enjoyed it.

I saw Zack every time I visited the local gaming store, manning the tournaments or throwing down the weird decks. He was my point of contact for upcoming events there, and we chatted many a time.

I'm still angry. And I still wish he wouldn't have pulled the trigger, tied the knot, or swallowed whatever pill he may have had (i.e. I don't know how he killed himself).

I'm just sad. And sorry. And upset.

I told my wife, "It's a shame, you know. He just denied some girl two smart kids and a kick-ass husand."

The funeral is tomorrow, and I'll be attending. Grimacing, hoping that the truth isn't up there, that his family isn't in such pain, that there was a better reason than "he was depressed" but probably not going to get one.

Zack Davis is dead.

Blogging Tools Suck

2007-03-23T17:26:00.001-04:00

I am beyond frustrated right now.

Let's leave it at that.

Family Matters: Week of 3-18-07

2007-03-23T17:24:00.001-04:00

300 Spoof

2007-03-21T19:43:00.000-04:00

I have seen 300 twice now in the theater. I do love it so. Let us now make fun of it with wild abandon.

Good Artists Borrow...

2007-03-21T13:13:00.001-04:00

You know, it must be tough being Carlos Mencia. He not only has the pressures of television, scripts, personnel, a fan base, a family...

...he also has to worry, daily, about how and when he's going to be found out as a joke stealer.

There seems to be a different code of ethics for each job out there. For example, I can take, borrow, and steal anything regarding Network Administration. Hell, I'd be lauded for it. "Look, he's doing it correctly!" But comedians have to create everything from scratch. They have to mine the funny. They can't take it at face value, they certainly can't take segments from other people.

Except, you know, when Carlos Mencia does it. I'm sure you've seen or heard about the Joe Rogan confrontation. And today I see how Carlos has stolen a classic bit from Bill Cosby.

And it makes me sad. Because as awesome as that profession is, there is very little done in the copyright arena for jokes. The joke thieves rarely, if ever, get caught. Which is why this whole Mencia thing is such a big deal--he's getting his ass handed to him, his reputation in the toilet, because he couldn't come up with the bits himself.

I wonder, now that people are actively looking, how many bits we'll find that he's profited from? Tens? Hundreds? More?

As an author over at StarCityGames I can't just take another persons' concept, even if they didn't fully flesh it out, and do so myself. I need to create a new angle or new idea about said concept. I'd get eaten alive if I tried to pass off one of Mike Flores' concepts as my own. I'd lose respect. And in small circles, such as the Magic community, respect counts for a lot.

And in Comedy, when you're out there in the hotel rooms and the skeezy comedy joints, it counts for even more. Hell, your career can depend on the respect you receive from your peers.

Do you want to risk that? Do you dare risk that?

Carlos Mencia has already taken that risk and did so many years ago. But today, in today's society, he's slowly paying the price. Ratings dropping, friends bailing out, the media given free reign to poke at him with video evidence of his failures.

It's both sad and fitting. For a thief to be punished by his own theft, there is no greater poetic justice.

Core Dump: Week of 3-18-07

2007-03-19T09:41:00.001-04:00

I don't have my normal editor (Windows Live Writer, which is amazing due to its template use), so for some weird reason I hide behind this as the reason I don't write here daily.

Damn, is that reason ever lame. I'm currently writing this in Ecto, which has the saddest URL ever: ecto.kung-foo.tv. While it's cute, how in the hell is someone supposed to find it blindly (i.e. the URL would never be "guessed") and, unfortunately, the URL doesn't exactly lend itself to legitimacy. Kung-Foo.tv? Give me a break.

Kids

Kids are fine. No major breakthroughs, upsets, or problems. Part of me dreads writing the Weekly Update when such little happens.

Let's take what may be the most interesting thing, teaching Annie some syllables.

"What is that letter?"

"D."

"And what sound does the D make?"

"I don't know."

"Duh. It makes the duh sound."

"Duh duh duh."

"That's right."

"Now what sound does the O make? It makes the 'oh' or the 'ah' sound." She repeats it for me. I do the same for the letter G.

It took a moment for her to get what the word was, as it took less emphasis on the individual sounds and required her to speed up those sounds in order to make sense. But it was awesome when she put it together.

"Dog! That spells dog daddy!"

"I know baby, good job."

And so it goes.

Ericka

Ericka is doing the whole make-my-dreams-come-true thing and picked up God of War 2 a few days ago. While I had to wait a few days to sink my teeth in (i.e. last night) because of SCG responsibilities, when I finally got to play it...man. I missed that game!

God of War was a fantastic game but since it was so old when I bought it, my buddies would come over and basically walk me through most of the difficult sections. They had played it many times over, beaten the "Gods' Challenge" and the whole bit. They were just going through the motions of watching me do the same old thing.

This one, however, is of course completely different, challenging, and awe-inspiring. The story was a little hammy, but I can't fault them too much--I mean, how are you going to go from God of War to Grunt in ten minutes? Suddenly there were big badass swords, betrayal, and before you know it Kratos was crawling out of Hell.

Man, what a game! So thanks to my wife for pre-ordering it months and months ago. It 'twas worth it, I tell ya.

American Idol

Ah yes, my favorite show that is sucking royally this year. First there's Sanjaya, who should've never made it past the Hollywood rounds, and we had to endure weeks of Antonella, who has a great body and an absolutely ghastly singing voice. Or maybe ghastly in front of an audience. She wasn't that bad in the auditions, but put her in front of 30 million people and watch her buckle like a belt.

And poor Chris Sligh. Don't ever take the glasses off again dude. For my sake and yours. And while I kind of enjoyed his take on "Endless Love", he really, really butchered that song. Now I don't mind the fact that he did it, I respect it in fact. But the more I thought about it, beyond that neat "Loooo-uh-uh-ove" melody he added on, it was dreadful. Barf.

The winners are obviously Melinda and Lakisha, both of whom were superstars from the Top 24 onward. The last time I got that excited about a contestant was Taylor Hicks, and we all know how he ended up.

And, it must be me, but I can't stand Blake. I think he's simply average. Can he dance? You bet. Beatbox? Like a champ. But sing? Take a seat. Even Phil Stacey, aka Nosferatu (I'm feeling vicious today), can belt em out in the high registers. He's kinda scary when he's not screaming at the top of his voice, though.

So that's today. Let's talk tomorrow.

Happy Birthday Mom

2007-03-12T03:11:00.001-04:00

I'm trying to think of my favorite memory of my mother. Instead I think of the most comforting.

I had a lot of bad dreams as a kid. Very vivid, very terrifying, very real. Some of them made me do weird things.

Once in the middle of the night my mother found me in the bathroom, on my knees, praying with my head on the cold sink.

In my mind was a horrible reaper. I remember it to this day. His image seared into me, and me wishing to get rid of it.

Dear God, I asked. Dear God.

Eventually Mom hugged it right out of me, as she always did, and I was back to bed.

And last Friday it was her birthday, and of course I'm so wrapped up in my laptop crashing that I don't mention her birthday until after I get The Email. You know, The One That Mentions The Thing You Haven't Brought Up. And I'm real, real bad with holidays, anniversaries, birthdays...

It's late, I'm tired, I just wanted to get this out there.

Thank you Mom, for all the nightmares you chased away. And Happy Birthday. I love you.

And the things you can't remember
Tell the things you can't forget

Sunday Video: Free Hugs

2007-03-11T14:37:00.000-04:00

Seriously? I cried.

Family Matters: Abby's Party

2007-03-06T10:54:00.001-05:00

Here are some photos from Abby's party that occurred last Sunday (not two days ago, but the Sunday before that. Yes, I know I'm worthless, thanks).

Here is Ericka's fantastic Spongebob cake:

Abby got to write her name on the wall, something each birthday kid gets to do:

She then ascended the big slide...

And went down!

Ericka and Corry and Leah had a good time...

While Abby admired the cake...

And Dad was there to give out presents (complete with Mean-Face(tm) Annie)

See? It wasn't that hard. Only took me a week and a half.

I'm not in love with the modern world
It was a torch driving the savages back to the trees

Say What Again

2007-02-28T02:31:00.001-05:00

Jarratt Moody is a mad pimp of the visual arts.

You just gotta see this one to believe it. It's an 'animated' scene from Pulp Fiction.

Tell me who will put flowers on a Flowers grave?
Who will say a prayer?

VS System Dies

2007-02-27T23:19:00.001-05:00

Well, it's the beginning of the end for VS System, that wacky card game from the minds of Magic players.

They're now in 4th place in the TCG world. Expect that to fall pretty quickly.

Beginnings

Let me tell you my story of VS:

When VS System first came out, I thought it looked really cool. I was enamored with Magic all over again, but the awfulness of the Affinity/Tooth and Nail metagame was killing me. I was actively trying to find something new, and here it was.

I learned the game quickly in a card shop, bought a few cards, tried to find more online. Learned a few things rather quickly:

- The game was in its infancy. Not many fansites back then, barely a blip of content anywhere but UDE official site.

- The game, being so new, was broken. Don't worry, this isn't a knock. They're all broken at first, as they've not been playtested by millions, but rather dozens of developers. This meant that the sky was the limit in terms of doing well competitively.

- But that wasn't quite true at the time. With at least one big tournament already taken place, Savage Beatdown, a card that to this day still commands $20-$25 a piece, was found to be broken. Pretty easy to see, as it was a 4x-of in each deck that came to a tournament.

- Funnier still, and something to learn as a game designer, Savage Beatdown was not, in fact, broken at all. Rather, it was broken in conjunction with Overload, a card that was finally banned a few years into its inception. Sometimes the overbearing cards like Beatdown really overshadow the real culprit, Overload, which took years to find.

Anyway, I tried to get my friends into it, but they'd have none of it.

"They're giving away a ton of money guys," I told them, and they were. But to get started playing competitively in a TCG is literally a $1,000 investment. At least. Yeah, it's not that much for the deck you'll eventually play, but not for the dozens of good uncommons/rares you acquire in the process. Then, of course, there's the travel. But I won't harp on specifics.

The point is, the game was young, dumb, and full of fun. So what happened? How can we learn from this game's death?

Scared Developers Never Attract Gamers

After the release of the first two sets (Marvel Origins and DC Origins, respectively), the developers saw how players knocked kinks in the armor of the game design. This is to be expected, as I mentioned, but their backlash was to drastically lower the power curve on the follow-up sets.

The Spider-Man set (on the Marvel side) and Superman set (on the DC) side sucked. Hard. And I don't mean like "There were some underpowered cards" I mean like "You followed up those first two great expansions with this crap?"

So after buying a few Superman boosters and seeing the dreck of it, I threw my VS cards away. VS has to do better than this.

And they did. They followed up those horrible sets with Marvel Knights and Green Lantern, two expansions that had powerful cards and fun times. I played in both prereleases for these events and thought they were both fun.

Fun enough to play competitively? Hell no! The market had already exploded and the big decks were found thanks to some high profile tournaments. As expected, popular Magic players were doing well and cashing in as a result.

At that point, you could focus on Magic or VS, but not both. Back when I first found the game, had I focused quickly enough and intensely enough, I would've taken the time to travel to the large tournaments. Now it was no longer worth it to me.

Their following sets weren't horrible by any means, and I thought Avengers was pretty damn cool. But a few other things sunk this game, let's take a look:

Banhammers are Dangerous

You want to laugh your ass off? Take these articles by Dave Humphreys:

Banned List Update (11/2/06)

Getting What You Paid For (1/23/07)

Both of these articles ban cards. But what kind of cards? And why do all of these cards look similar?

Every single card banned (except one) in the past six months has been a 1 cost character (or a 1-drop, as they say). Every single one is playable by means other than traditional build points.

This is, at the very least, sad. At the worst it's neglectful. But I'm willing to give the benefit of the doubt, having had a HUGE ban-worthy card slip through during the design and development of my Star Chamber expansion Descent that later required errata.

The point is, there was obviously a problem with these guys before it got to these dire straits (LONG before) and why didn't they catch it earlier?

I don't know what else to say here. Either you catch the problems like overpowered 1-drops in development or you don't. I mean, my God, how long did it take UDE to ban Dr. Light, a card that was obviously a problem for months before they finally did so.

Do note that Magic players pay attention to other games, particularly when they ban things. Banning multiple cards, particularly those with exact traits, is indicative of a few things:

- Know your power level. That many powerful 1 drops, with every single one alternately playable by doing other actions, is just negligence to the power level of cards in your game. There's the idea of, like Magic, keeping broken cards in for the sake of a broken environment (called Vintage there and Golden Age in VS System), but damn.

- Not acting soon enough. Hell, until fans squabbled, they were going to let six soon-to-be-banned cards playable at a huge money tournament.

Confidence Lost

The bannings, the underpowered sets, the lackluster reponse to the game from Magic pros, the failed StarCityVS.com...it's sad, but that ailing confidence that arose from all of these events just makes me (and I'm guessing, others) not want to play.

Not Newbie Friendly

I don't care how many times I have to say this, or how many VS junkies roll their eyes in defiance, but the lack of reminder text helped kill this game.

Let me say that again: The lack of Reminder Text helped kill this game.

You can print it, quote me on it, slap it on a bumper sticker. The lack of Reminder Text was a masterstroke in stupidity.

Why stupid? Because it was so easy to do, yet they didn't do it. They did try, as the years went on, to throw in some Reminder Text, but largely they ignored it. Instead, they left it to Comprehensive Rulebooks and Googling.

Guess what UDE, you screwed that up. And badly. And I begged, and pleaded, and posted on popular VS messageboards, and no one would listen.

Whenever I tried to teach the game, there was such keyword soup (Boost, Evasion, Flight, Range, Reservist, Willpower, etc) that new players became lost. They couldn't understand what all of the powers did, so they would ask endless repeating questions that Reminder Text would fix.

But UDE complained that Reminder Text filled too much of the frame. To which I say: Tough. Fix it. Make it work. Trim some rules text.

The other side will say it's a small thing. Stupid. Cosmetic at best.

And it's these same people who are going to mourn this game because it has no new players.

Little Originality

Now I'll happily admit that the World of Warcraft TCG is very guilty of this same thing, as it meshed two winning formulas--VS' lack of "Lands" and Magic's versatility--but VS blatantly copied a whole host of Magic cards, and had little to zero of their own impressive rares.

Platinum Angel reads "You can't lose the game and your opponent's can't win the game."

VS System in their next set immediately put out Mephisto which said "You cannot lose the game."

Which they immediately had to errata to say "You cannot lose the game and your opponent's cannot win the game."

Yeah, real nice one there. If you're going to copy it, at least copy all of it.

Another problem relating to this was that they would design really amazing 8 and 9 drop characters. The only problem with that is you'd never actually make it to an 8th turn in any competitive environment (or, if you did, it was what your whole deck's goal was). So a lot of these awesome looking guys just wouldn't and couldn't see play.

Meh.

Errata City, USA

VS System has to be the king of errata. Now I know Magic has a virtual shit ton of errata, but that's quite different: The days of power level errata is gone. Now it's back to making everything work the way it supposed to.

And worse, VS developers would many times hide themselves behind the idea that what they were doing was restoring the card "to its intent" when they were subtly fixing cards.

Take a look at this page. Scroll down and note all of the massive errata changes this game has made.

Now, imagine yourself at a kitchen table. You play a card the way it says...then you're stopped by some guy bitching about it being errata'd. Now this is a kitchen table, but those are the official comprehensive rules.

Who wins? Worse, why is this such a huge part of the game? It's a little ridiculous and another reason I had a hard time taking the game seriously.

A Goodbye

It was nice knowing you, VS System. You've got a few more sets to come out, a few more promised tournaments where you give away hundreds of thousands of dollars that the game didn't make, but look on the bright side: You've still got Yu-Gi-Oh and you've still got World of Warcraft.

Let VS die peacefully after the Marvel Legends and DC Legends sets. It will do all of us some good, and spare this cool little game a lot of dignity.

Oh Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots eat me

Your Mom

2007-02-26T17:35:00.001-05:00

From the Creative Endeavors file, my friend Dan and I like to create cool/funny/irreverant t-shirts for our own amusement. Here's the latest one:

(Click to enlarge)

I got the inspiration from a very similar forum signature.

Shouldn't have used drop-shadowing on the small letters, but otherwise I think it came out well.

Rosemary
Heaven restores you in life

Sunday Video: Arcade Fire on SNL

2007-02-25T18:27:00.001-05:00

Man these guys are amazing! Dan just scored FRONT ROW tickets to see them in DC. He's flying up (via a free flight voucher) to see em.

And after this blistering performance, I am even more jealous.

Their new album is just incredible. Highly recommended, buy copies for your friends, etc.

It's folky emo rock and I love it!

Here's their follow-up later in the evening, another favorite of mine on the record, "Keep the Car Running":

Crank it up! Arcade Fire FTW!

Someone turn the lights back on
I'll love you until all time is gone

Family Matters, Week of 2-18-07 (with The Blogging Church Review)

2007-02-25T04:32:00.001-05:00

So, I'm sick.

Been sick for days now. I don't know if it's the flu or sinus infection, but it's leaving...finally. My head is absolutely pounding. I've slept too much today and now I'm up all night.

Anyway, on to the fam. This is actually a very 'happening' fam report this go around. Let's dive in...

Annie (4yr Old Operator)

Last night the phone rang.

Ericka and I were in bed, and we heard the machine answer. A whispered voice came over the speaker.

"Hang up. Hang...up." Sounded like a little girl...but why was she calling after midnight?

And then the line went dead.

Ericka called back and Annie answered.

"Hello?"

"Annie? What are you doing up?"

"I couldn't sleep mommy."

"You called home? By yourself?"

"Yes."

And then, of course, she was showered with praise and we both awed at the idea that our little girl could now call us without assistance.

Then we remembered it was, ya know, 12:34am and had Annie wake up the mother-in-law. They went to bed, and Annie has one last thing to say about it.

"I'm a big girl mommy. I called home."

"That's right baby. I love you."

Abby (3yr Old Little Sis)

Abigail turned 3 last Monday. Did I post about it? No, and that was pretty bad. That was also right around the time I was feeling sick, but still doesn't get me out of it.

So, my apologies. I'll be sure to make it up to her later today, as we go to Events at Sherlake and proceed to rock the huge 60ft blow-up slide and bouncy room and obstacle course.

Lots of fun, I'm sure there will be pictures forthcoming.

And of course, happy birthday to my big girl Abs. She's so funny because she's very much into explaining exactly what's wrong. For example, the other day she came to me crying. After I calmed her down, I called Annie in the room and Abby spoke to her angrily: "Annie shoved the door on my finger in the castle and it hurt!"

Then Annie denied it, admitted it, and was punished. Yeesh.

We got her a tea set for her birthday, which includes a table, chairs, and the tea-based accessories.

It's going to be awkward in a few years when I'll have to keep the birthday present secret even from the blog...

Ericka (her myspace)

Ericka has an extra-special treat for Abby, one she's been working on for three days now: A huge Spongebog Squarepants cake. Want to see pictures?

Here is some stuff in-progress. The final pics will probably be up Monday.

She later added the legs. The screaming was getting to us.

Isn't this one cool? I love the expression in the eyes.

Ericka doesn't like the arms but I think they're fine.

The infamous Gary.

And now, the Piece De Resistance,

Sandy the Squirrel! Isn't that one awesome? Ericka's looking for a gumball plastic shell tomorrow to give her the dome. We'll see.

The final cake isn't assembled yet, but will be before we leave tomorrow.

Lastly...

A Few Words On The Blogging Church

So I read The Blogging Church by Brian Bailey and Terry Storch and, well, it's everything I hoped it would be.

I loved the interviews sprinkled throughout the book instead of an "interview section", it kept things moving.

The book covers pretty much every major blogging issue that there is to talk about. You want to talk about burnout? Sure. Setup, stat-obsession, comment moderation, and more? It's all there.

Brian has a wonderful way of making all of these concepts relate to the church goer and runner, including real-world talk on how difficult it can and may be to get your blog started (and keep it running).

I'm not gonna lie, the pages that involved myself were of course fun to read. A big thanks to Brian for including it. I'm seriously in awe of Gary and Brian is obviously a leader for a reason. So thanks for the kind words and understanding.

I've actually got one of those silent goals for 2007 in that I visit Gary down in Georgia.

Anyway, the book is fabulous. Those serious about their ministries and want to both connect and re-connect their people together can do so easily, for free with existing blogging services, and with the help of plenty of guides and direction via Brian and Terry. They give easy to use tips and tricks on how to keep people interested, and the tips from other blogging pastors were insightful as well.

The only thing I would've liked to have seen more of was the push for more outreach beyond what will inevitably be their 'blogging circle'.

For example, I read Brian and I read Gary, but most Christian Bloggers will only read Other Christian Bloggers. This is no way to reach out and see from other's perspective(s). Gary was fascinating from the word go, and I like to look for those voices even if they differ from mine.

There's no real, respectable repository for 'good blogs whose views differ wildly from mine' so it's really about reading as many blogs as possible (sites like stumbleupon and of course digg are good for this) and following the rabbit hole of links on blogs you like and see how far they go. Click on one, then another, then another, and find the stories therein.

Now you're a mere Amazonian click away from buying the book.

Thanks for the free copy Brian, and congratulations. It's something to be proud of.

I'll draw three figures on your heart; one of them will be me as a boy
one of them will be me; one of them will be me watching you run