Family Matters, Week of 9-17-06

Every week I write about my family. Welcome to it.

Hey everybody, did you miss this one? Damn, the first missed week in a looong time. I'm all disappointed. But we'll try to make it up on this one.

We return to the old family-member-after-family-member format, so that should keep the complainers happy (and by complainers I mean wife, and by wife I mean love of my life, and by love of my life I mean she hopefully gets the joke).

So, yeah.

Abby (2yr old Powerhouse)

Abigail has decided that full-on regression was the strategy for her potty training, as she is burning through Pull Ups like they're going out of style. Even if in them for a short time, she'll find a way to fill them with liquid.

We've tried punishment, 'potty checks', scolding, the whole bit. We have no idea what is going to get her to start using the potty...unless Ericka stops watching the brother-in-law's children, which isn't really a possibility.

Either way, she's definitely the sweetest of the two babes, and I truly hope she clings to it as long as possible. There's just something magical in the "I wuv you daddy" all the time. The meanness can wait, I tell you.

Annie (4yr old Karate Master)

Annabelle, well, she's quite the character, let me tell you. Beyond cheerleading, she is an expert in staying up past her bedtime, pinching her sister, and kicking the snot out of annoying little boys.

However, she's also learned to label people. Specifically, her parents. Me and Ericka are "Mean Daddy" and "Mean Mommy" whenever we discipline her. And I'm the kind of guy who says, "I don't care what she thinks of her parents, we do what's best for her," and so on. But Ericka worries if we should make her stop saying that as the label is unnecessary and of course untrue.

Annie pulls down the curtains in her room, she gets punished, I can be Mean Daddy as long as she learns her lesson not to do that any longer, you know?

Anyway, she loves her preschool workbooks and we try to drag 'em out as much as possible. It's really cool to watch her learn how to draw shapes and whatnot, as mundane as that seems.

The girls also really like painting pictures in Fireworks with Dad. "I wanna paint, Daddy." is a common-heard phrase now. Together we'll sit and draw fishes and dragons and castles, whatever strikes their fancy and whatever their Father can adequately doodle. It's a lot of fun, and the girls are getting better at their computer skills.

After the Fireworks happiness comes Microsoft Word, where they like to type their names.

We also have little games like Baby Splat which are also fun, if only for a few minutes. The biggest problem with this program is that the kids will pound on ALL of the keys on the keyboard, not just those tied to sounds. This means the Windows Key, the Ctrl and Alt keys, and the "menu" key to the right of the keyboard all stop the fun. Sucky.

Ericka (her myspace)

Ericka has been baking up a storm, today providing my work with muffins and my birthday this Sunday with what will undoubtedly be a Cheesecake For The Ages.

Me and Ericka took the kids bowling on Wednesday, and what an interesting tale that was (but not quite long enough for a full post, which is why yesterday was blank...plus the surgery tale is long as hell).

Me and Ericka helped the girls try to bowl, which meant Annie went the Granny Ball route, while Abby's was "Put the ball at the front of the lane and push."

Now, considering me and Ericka were "actually" bowling as in "actually" trying, we crushed the kids' scores, right?

Well, it wouldn't be interesting if that were true, right?

Truth is, Abby--of all the babes!--crushed us.

Okay, not crushed, but she won by 6-7 points.

I think this is some sort of record--I gutter-balled on a lane with bumpers. I call that talent.

Abby then celebrated her win with a cute jig on the dance floor, soon joined by her sister.

Then Mom and Dad stepped in, got them in the car, and headed back home. Thankfully, no gloating was involved. That may take a few years.

Until next week, when I'll be 26. If you're near Oak Ridge, TN this Sunday and want to come to my fabuloso birthday party, feel free to give me a shout.

I'm gonna break down at fifty
And I'm not quite a stallion