Snakes On A Plane Movie Review

Ah yes. Those snakes. Those silly, funny, interesting and much-hyped snakes.

Let me take you back to sometime this spring. The phenomenon was getting kinda crazy. The movie was coming and it was snakes...on a plane. No more, no less.

And we (and by we I mean me, you, and the rest of the internet geeks) loved the shit out of it.

It was irreverant!

It was silly!

It had Sam Mr. Badass Jackson in it!

And it wasn't coming out...

Until August?

...oh. Damn.

Well, until then they had a contest for the end credits song (which I think is just as horrid and vapid as the flick) and mucho publicity. The film wasn't screened for critics because it was for the fans, peeps, and don't you forget it.

I mean, they even went back and gave us boobs and cursing to fulfill our needs.

Weren't we going to make it huge? Weren't we going to storm the box office to a record-setting weekend.

Wasn't there a reason New Line Cinema gave it a super huge launch on over 3,500 screens?

Unfortunately, the answer lies in Firefly, that other much-maligned film that was driven by the internet and its fanboys.

And, as much as I hate to say it, sometimes it may pay to actually not listen to fanboys.

However, you came for a Snakes on a Plane review. So I'm going to give it to you:

Snakes on a Plane is the best movie to see with a packed theater.

Snakes on a Plane is the worst movie to see in a sparsely-attended theater.

Unfortunately I got the latter on the late Friday night showing. And here I thought it would be packed to the gills!

But, that doesn't take away the fact that me and my friends loved it, that we go to laugh and cheer at the appopriate places.

And, let's face it, one of the main draws of this movie is the fact that you can sit in a crowded theater and proclaim as loudly as you can: "I'm sick and tired of these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!"

And it was just as rich and satisfying as I had been imagining it. The rest of the patrons (about 25 or so) were right along with us. It wasn't quite magical, but it was close.

The rest of the film is just silly. The plot is nothing short of a Showtime 3AM flick (you know the kind, where the Evil Asian Crime Lord is going to kill The Informant) and the deaths are fast and furious--sans Mr. Diesel.

I for one thought it was great goofy fun. Would I ever watch it again? In a packed theater--YES. At home on DVD--NO.

I was trying to explain this 'packed theater phenomenon' to my buddies and they just didn't get it. The fact is, enthusiasm is contageous, just like laughing and fear is contageous. You will simply have more fun with this fun movie with a huge fun crowd.

I harken it back to American Pie 2. While the movie is sub-par, it was brilliant amongst my fellow movie goers. We laughed and cheered and were rowdy for two hours. I had a blast. When I saw the film again without such an environment, the jokes were stale, obvious, and overdone.

But in a crowd of people who couldn't wait to see what Stifler was up to, there were no better place to be.

And if you think Snakes may be packing them in on the night you're headed to the movies, be sure to get your seat and pack yourself uncomfortably amongst the mouth breathers--you'll be glad you did.

She's not leaving much to the imagination
She's giving me way too much information