1st Division Lounge Drinks

Wow, you can't make this shit up.

Apparently, the Army is thinking about endorsing an "Army World Theme Park" which would let you faux-fly in jets, helictoptors, and get in exciting rides that revolve around the military. 

Personally, I look forward to the Abu Ghraib Beating Show. I heard the 'Humiliation Hour' is terrific!

It's just like when you go to South Carolina and you can "tour the beautiful plantations." Yes, let's work on getting this time period nostalgically gleaned over by tourists and trucker hats.

Soon, a mere $5 will let you beat the "indentured employees" just like they used to!

Nope, the real fun with Army World is that they want to open a bar called the "1st Division Lounge" and wow did Ze nail this one. More specifically, his readers did.

Here's a few of my favorites so far, because I don't know enough about alcohol to make any concoctions truly funny:

The Dead Soldier
When someone asks for one you give them an empty beer bottle. And you charge them a billion dollars.

The Unknown Soldier
Take the ends of everyone elses drinks and pour them into a large glass. Serve on ice.

The Cheney
Take a shot of Wild Turkey, throw it in your friend's face.

The Sobbing Widow 
A high ball glass full of vodka. You can add olives to symbolize her fatherless children drowning in despair.

Fun for the whole family, you betcha!

And when you're coming around
You'll be sorry for the things you said