Family Matters: The Yellow Incident

Every Wednesday I write about my family. Yes, I know what day it is.

On Monday night I got what could only be called the strangest call of my parenting life.

“Hello?” I say on my friend’s cell phone.

“Evan?” Ericka’s voice is a bit shaky.

“Yes?”

“We…ah…I…I don’t really know how to explain this.”

“Explain what? What’s wrong?”

“There’s…um, Annie peed on Abby.”

Shock. Humor. Horror. Curiosity. Befuddlement.

“What…the hell?”

“They were getting ready for their bath, so they were naked, Annie sat on Abby’s chest and Abby started crying. When Annie got up Abby’s chest was wet.”

Oh mah God. How do you react to this? I laugh, of course.

“This is serious, Evan.”

“I know, I know. Uh…what did you do?”

“I don’t know what to do. This is really bad. She needs more than just a spanking or time out.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Well, so far I took away her jewelry and she’ll get no movies tonight. You need to come home and talk to her.”

So I did.

“Annie,” I said, in my most fatherly tone, “that was nasty. Nasty little girls don’t get Princess Annie stories, nasty girls don’t get birthday parties.” Me and Ericka went back and forth with the amount of things girls like that get to do (which is to say, not much).

“I’m sorry daddy,” she said, and it sure sounded like she meant it. Of course, being her dad whose heart she can melt easily, I had no trouble believing it.

After the lecturing was over, and we were sure it would never happen again, the kids went right off to bed.

I am, needless to say, grateful this hasn’t happened or been brought up since.

Weird.

So Much Goin On These Days
Forget About Instinct - It's Not What Pays