Family Matters, Week of 3-19-06

Every Wednesday I write about my family. Welcome to it.

Annie (3yr old troublemaker)

My phone rings at my desk. “This is Evan,” I say. It’s Ericka. And she’s sobbing.

“Evan…Evan oh my God…”

“What? What?” I’m, of course, freaking out.

“Annie did something to Abby.” Oh my Lord. This is it. She’s maimed.

Well, sorta.

“Annie cut Abby’s hair!” Ericka cries. Her sobbing continues as I breathe a sigh of relief.

“Honey,” I say in between her breaths, “it’s just hair.”

“Her beautiful hair…” Ericka says, her voice trailing as if the Mona Lisa were just sharpie’d.

After calming my wife down, the sequence went like this:

Annie climbed on a chair and got the scissors from the top shelf (“They fell down!” Annie lied) and cut two (admittedly large) strands of Abby’s hair: One in the back and one around her bangs. She then, somehow, cut Abby on the neck—a small slice that bled a bit. Nothing serious.

Needless to say the hammer came down on ole Annie-boog and she seemed, according to Ericka, ‘very affected’ when she saw that she had cut Abby. She said she was sorry and gave Abby hugs and kisses.

Of course, thereafter she developed an ear infection, so by the time I came home it was no longer about the hair cutting, it was about her ear hurting. And while I’m not the best dad in the world, even I know what takes precedence here. She had been punished by Ericka and I gave her a ‘serious talking to’ (which, let’s be honest, doesn’t add up to too much). Then we promised to take her to the doc and fix her.

As for that doctor’s appointment—and the subsequent horror-esque banshee screaming that resulted in her taking a breathing treatment—I’ll leave that to your imagination.

Abby (2yr old trooper)

Abigail, on the other hand, is also sick and has found that she can go to sleep just about anywhere.

However, there are stipulations which will wake her up as if a bomb went off. What are those stipulations?

Imagine putting a Harry Potter DVD into the drive. You know the piano notes that chime out as the WB logo appears on the screen?

Ericka tried sitting Abby up. Promising her candy. Asking her if she wanted to go outside. Nothing worked.

But when those notes started? Her eyes shot open and she said “Harry Potter! Harry Potter!” (which, in Abby-speak, is more like Harwy Pawtah! Harwy Pawtah!)

Ah, the WB logo; the best wake-up call of them all.

Ericka (her myspace)

Ericka has, as usual, kept the house in order and kept me in check. While I run around writing articles and designing CCG expansions, she casually keeps the kids fed and the dishes and clothes washed.

Of course, every week I’m reminded that I should be doing more for her, such as right this instant. But I digress (as usual).

Anyway, thanks to my lovely wife for taking care of the kids while I’m gone, and this is a public reminder that the Hair Cutting Incident of ‘06 does not mean she is a terrible mother as she quickly deduced, but rather a wonderful mother who suffered another rite of passage. She’ll be attending a birthday party of a friend this evening, and in her usual ass-kicking way, has procured her mother to watch the girls while I do game development work.

This woman, she’s something else I tell ya.

Etc

All I gotta say is, I hope this comes true someday.

Until tomorrow, you crazy cats.

 Cause all you people are vampires
And all your stories are stale