Next Gen Blues

It?s official: I just don?t care about consoles anymore.

It?s a miracle I even acknowledge them at all. Hell, I haven?t even beaten Sly 3 yet, and I was amazingly excited to get my hands on it?2 months ago.

Consoles are sort of the defacto distraction for today?s Hip Modern Man. You want to be cool, so you get a PS2, you take on a few sports games, you wait for the time to share them amongst friends and beers. There is nothing wrong with this, as it is akin to the (now) old school version of getting a six pack and KFC and watching the big game. Except, you know, you actually play in the game.

A few of my younger friends are aching for the XBox 360. And that?s okay, it?s their right and while I respect their enthusiasm, I just don?t share it. There is nothing that is shinier or prettier enough to make me want to invest a used vehicle-esque down payment on the thing. Not to mention the rumors of Microsoft limiting shipments to create a false demand, driving up the tension in attaining one and watching the horrid results of gouging on Ebay. I?ve seen the big bundles go for almost $1,000.

Yeah, and that?s real money, not the candy colored kind that goes into the plastic slot next to the Community Chest cards.

When I was a kid, consoles basically defined my entertainment. I grew up playing Atari, I cut my teeth on the NES, I held fast to Nintendo through the Nin vs. Sega days. I bought one of the first Playstations to roll off the line, I giggled with glee as the Dreamcast went belly up, as the N64 underwhelmed. And through it all, I persevered my ideas that a console was a necessity. A new household staple. You couldn?t not have one of the latest consoles and a fun community game. At least Nintendo is making it affordable with their Mario Party bundles.

But as things change and times change, I?ll stick with the old stand-bys. My Gamecube rests dormant, my Playstation 2 already has severe disc reading problems, and I have a Dreamcast hanging around because their games are playable via CD-R?s, and besides: Do you know where to find an original copy of Jet Grind Radio?

Besides, with children and the re-prioritizing of life necessities and budgets, consoles are flashes in the pan to the grand scheme of things. My computer gives me the internet, more connectivity than I?ll ever need, and keeps me in touch. I don?t need a Gamerpass. Or a headset. I don?t want to rely on broadband adapters. I don?t need overpriced hard drives. I have plenty of underpriced hardware already that drives my day to day life, and so for now I think I?ll skip Halo 3.14 and Project Gotham Racing: Holy Shit Is That Real I Think I Just Wet Myself Edition.

Consoles, schmonsoles. Viva la PC!

Love machines on the sympathy crutches
Discount orgies on the dropout buses