Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire Review

Last night I got a phone call.

“Hey buddy.”

“Hey,” I say to Chris. He’s usually playing Magic at this hour (11:20PM) and I ask him if he’s at a card shop.

“Nope, I’m in a movie theater. Harry Potter starts at 12.”

I sigh. Damnit, I wanted to see that flick. “Really,” I say as nonchalantly as possible.

“Yup, I just wanted to call and say hi. Not much going on right now.” Thanks for rubbing it in ya dick.

Ericka comes into the room, gets the 411 and I try to hide my feelings of jealousy. Unfortunately I’m the type of guy who shows all of his emotion on his face.

“You want to go, don’t you?” She asks.

I deny this meekly.

“Go on,” she said, “But you’re still taking me this weekend.”

“Deal.”

As for the film, I won’t spoil anything, because then there would be six pages of spoilers.

Here’s the issue with Harry Potter 4: It tries really hard to squeeze in 800 pages into 2.5 hours. Not a good sentiment. But it did have some kick ass trailers, such as the one for Superman.

This is a movie reminiscent of The Sorcerer’s Stone and Chamber of Secrets in that they try so hard to give you the book it’s like reading a freshman book report—it gets the basics, it tells the ‘story’, but it doesn’t actually involve you in the goings on.

Take for example the idea of the 3 tasks for the Goblet of Fire contest. Each contest drives a particular act of the film. Which is all fine and good…until it takes an hour or more to actually get to the first contest. Then there’s a big dance, and the split–second characterizations of every character, and the inevitable Ain’t Asking Girls to Dances Tough moments. Before you know it the ball is happening, you get to sit in on one class, and somewhere in there the dark lord is trying to be reborn.

It’s exhausting to explain just as it is exhausting to follow. I loved the book, so I like the movie on one level, but I also really appreciated how The Prisoner From Azkaban (HP #3) took a much different and steady take on the material. It didn’t try to be the book, it tried to interpret the book. That’s a very subtle but very important difference. Both of them can succeed but rarely can both actually tell a good story. And ask anyone who reads the Potter books why they read them: It’s not to cover details or mash characters together. It’s about telling a story.

Hell, this entire blog is about telling a story. And I can definitely say that watching Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire is like watching a screenplay with words and letters moving around instead of characters.

But on the plus side, the kids are growing up, looking older and “hotter”. That last point is indeed kinda weird because there are a few scenes which involve innuendo with a naked Harry (in the bathtub) and a ghost, not to mention Hermione getting all sexy for her man’s sake—a 17 year old when she is supposed to be 14. Maybe it’s the dad in me coming out.

Anyway, if you like the Harry Potter novels you’ll dig this one, if you like the Harry Potter movies and have never read the books I have one piece of advice for you…

…don’t blink.

Everyday I love you less and less
It’s clear to see that you’ve become obsessed