The Old Credit Card

In my wallet lives a credit card. And not just any credit card, mind you, but the credit card by which my life is run on. It?s a check card, so don?t go thinking I?m that bad with money (or you?ll discover that I really am), but this card has definitely seen better days.

It has a crack in the middle, just below the numbers, and is split almost to the middle on one side, and a little on the other. One day it was bent all the way across (thanks Asshole Store Clerk) and now needs a few good pieces of tape to keep it functional. I wonder why I don?t just call the bank and get a new one.

But then I remember why I don?t do that. Because my life would basically stop until a new one arrives. When you get a new credit card, the old one is immediately shut off and the new one is cut on only by calling the magical 1?800 number

If only life were this simple. Or perhaps not?

The entire process usually takes 2?3 days. Days I don?t have to spare. Does anyone have two days for their life to stop and then try to pickup later?

There are things that I rely on day in and day out, but none so much as that stupid piece of plastic. Do I have the numbers memorized? Sure. But tossing the card until it gets auto-renewed in January isn?t an option. Because then I?d be stuck without ATM access or gasoline. These things have become modernized to the point where a chain reaction of cancellations affects me in ways that are tough to tie down.

For example, the billing for this website would have to be updated. The automatic payment cycles that are run without me noticing, humming silently in a nondescript building in Iowa, ready to take my money for my monthly services, they would generate errors. I would get emails. I would be interrupted.

My life would be disrupted. No one wants that.

Change is something I?ve begun to notice more and more lately. What we change, how we change it, and more specifically how the decisions a long time ago affect what is going on today.

When I was younger I was sure I?d never make it to thirty. Now I?m staring down the barrel of 25 and am content that I?ll be on this earth for sometime after 30, and God forbid (or is that ?willing??) I see 40. The world may never be the same.

But I have a purpose, I have connections. I have kids, a wife, a job, friends, hobbies, commitments. These things keep me in check. But just as responsibilities give me purpose and meaning, the longer you have them the easier it is to analyze what it is those reponsibilities give you in return. Love. Comfort. Money. Happiness. Or is happiness the same as comfort?

But then I realize that the ties that bind are also the ties that keep things running. The oil that keeps the machine running is the same thing that keeps the oil maker in business. That keeps the employee at the business with a job. The chain of connection is clear. But with life responsibilities, the chain isn?t so clear.

To wit: Annie wasn?t ?planned? which led to me and Ericka moving in together. Moving in together led to marriage. Kid + Marriage led to happiness.

The trick is that the first part of that chain seemed bad at first. My life was going to change. Things were going to get uncomfortable. Things were disrupted. The first thought went to stopping this from happening, abortion. But were that to have happened I would?ve missed out on my biggest fan, and what will probably amount to the greatest experience in my life. Sure it was hard, is hard, sure it takes a lot of work, but the disruption was ultimately worth it.

But that old credit card? Bah, fuck that. I?m gonna go find me some tape. See ya next week.

After all that we?ve been through
I know we?re cool

Tags: Credit Card Wallet Tape ATM Change Marriage Kids Planned Unplanned Abortion