Almost Road Trippin

Next week I?ll be Off The Grid, as they say, which means I?ll have no net access for an entire week.

Let me say that again: No net access for a week.

I could die. People could get hurt. You just never know.

My wonderful employer has seen fit to put me up in a wonderful cabin, which I wrote about here, and we leave on Sunday towards Smokey Mountainous bliss.

On the other side of the geek coin, my good friend Tony is having a huge pig roast-a-thon this Sunday which I?d love to attend. However, I don?t want to attend by my lonesome. Currently me and Tony are conspiring to woo Jeremy, who had previously declined, into making the six hour trip with me.

So why am I babbling this? One reason: Road Trips Are Cool.

I guess it?s hard to define a ?Road Trip? when you?re actually traveling toward a ?Destination.? But it needs to be said that when on the road, friends are the best peeps to have around. I made the seven-and-a-half-hour trip to Detroit this past winter by myself, and let me tell you there was no fun to be had in that long ride. I picked up a few Magic buddies from Knoxville for the return trip, and they provided more than enough entertainment for the long drive home.

For one I must commend Tony. It?s tough to pull off a good party, particularly one of that size. I mean, I wear myself out trying to make a child?s birthday party happen with few hitches, so a beer-fueled fun fest like the one he?s planning must give him nightmares. Or the sweetest dreams imaginable. I?m not entirely sure yet. Maybe I?m just a perfectionist. Here, have a balloon. Oh, wait, this knot is wrong. No balloon for you.

Either way, my car will probably be the one making the trip and All That That Implies (read: Gas Is Fucking Expensive). Nothing like sinking $35 a fill up, eh? And people wonder why I?m broke all the time. ?It?s the vehicle!? I scream. In more ways than one. Did I mention I just bought used tires and one of them went bad? Welcome to my life, folks.

Lastly, allow me to show you an abomination: I Heart Wal-Mart. Dear God, of all the terrible marketing that you could do for the Wal-Mart Is Evil Flick, this is the worst possible idea ever. How about, you know, actually having a blog detailing your trials, tribulations, and challenges by your production company instead of some piece of shit blog that tries to be some sort of snarky marketing device? Have you ever seen the Moxie Blog? Take a hint people.

Repeat after me: Fictional character blogs do not work.

Update: They do have a production blog! And so does the head producer. Now, why does this blog need to exist again?

Coming Tomorrow: The World Famous, Highly Patented Family Update, and the best blog I?ve seen in weeks. Definitely one for your Must Read Onfolio folder.

Oh no, I see the spider?s web and it?s me in the middle
So I twist and turn, but here am I in my little bubble

Tags: Internet Smokey Mountains Pig Road-Trip Birthday Party Wal-Mart Moxie Blog