Family Matters, Week of 4-25-05

You know, in my mind, I would love to write as well or as eloquently about my family as Tony does over at Sand in the Gears. I hurt everytime I read of his hurt, I laugh when he writes about an amusing anecdote.

Me? I try my best to keep the kids in unsoiled diapers and squeeze in a few stories before bedtime. There may be eloquence in being blunt, but somehow I just don’t think so.

Annie

Annie is getting more bold in her “tests” of parenthood. What is a child’s test? This:

“Annie,” I say. No movement. Not even a twitch.

“Annie,” I say again. No movement. Not even a twitch.

See? Test. That’s what kids do. When they are old enough to realize they are not bound by your will and only theirs, they begin to wonder just what it will take before things “escalate.”

And Annie has mastered the art of escalation. This of course leads to many phone calls at work that sound like this:

“This is Evan.”

“I’m gonna beat your child.”

“My child?” I thought those guys were sorta…mutual.

“Yes, she’s acting just like you.” This is then proceeded by an explanation of Annie’s reluctance to do just about everything Ericka asks of her.

It’s times like those I have no idea how to respond.

“Um, she’s your child too,” I say weakly.

“Yeah, whatever, stop at the store when you come ho—Annie! Get off of that chair right now.” A quick pause. “I gotta go.”

I love my kid.

Abby

Abby, the Drooling Wonder of the Erwin Household, has a molar that just came in. Last night it was bothering her (and bleeding) something awful. You couldn’t even give her a kiss on that side of her cheek without hearing a toddler-roar, and it took quite some time for her to settle down.

She’s also on the verge of speech, but just doesn’t quite have the capacity. The worst part is you can see her struggle, you can hear her tone of voice. It is just the actual sounds and inflections haven’t been ingrained in her windpipe yet, so she feigns temporarily. The funniest (and cutest) moments are when she is on the phone, chatting it up with some imaginary person. She then takes a chubby arm and extends the handset toward you.

Gurgle, fomiziwat blergh, she says. That’s Abby-ese for “It’s for you.”

Ericka

I would like to thank my loving wife for surviving a weekend without the car whilst I ran off to Detroit. Her classes start next week, and this weekend she returns to work for a stint that may or may not be a good omen for things to come.

She also got her hands on a sewing machine, a real spiffy one costing Lots O’ Cash. I don’t know what the appeal is, and I certainly can’t operate it (without losing a finger…), but Ericka is quickly working her way towards Expert Status by creating purses and somesuch with amazing accuracy.

It all works out. I tear a hole in the ass of my pants, she sighs and fixes it. I’m what you would call an enabler, folks.

Etc

As for the rest, as he official unveiled his website in yesterday's comments, everyone feel free to check out thejasonwells.com for some cool music from Jason and his pimpin lawn gnome cover from his latest CD. I’ve also gotten back in touch with Eddie, a super cool guy who returned to a network admin position when I left. He apparently caught the cluetrain just before his previous employment was going to bail on him, so that’s more good news.

Who knew my paranoia about sabotage would bring these connections to light again? The power of blogs peeps, the power of blogs.

If I get old, I will not give in
But if I do, remind me of this.

Tags: Family, Story, Erwin, Annie, Abby, Ericka