Parenting 202
Parenting for a small child is weird. I ask myself these questions when Ericka is gone to work and I'm alone with the kids:
1. Is it really this tiring?
2. Does Annie/Abby act like this around Ericka?
3. Am I being too strict/too lenient with Annie?
4. Is it really this tiring?
In the realm of all things parenting, I think I don't want to be feared per se, but I want respect like any other parent. I want my children to listen to me. Mind, as it were. Yes, when they're two years old they push every limit they have available to them, and I really would love to know when the line needs to be drawn.
I asked Ericka why they go nutty with me yet she handles things so much better. "You're being too lenient with her, so she thinks she can do whatever she wants," Ericka told me.
Now I'm going to pull back the curtain and reveal what might be some painful stuff.
Last night I was pretty harsh, I admit. I tried to let Annie have some freedom, but when she did things that I told her not to do (over and over, of course), she got a quick spanking on the leg or wrist.
So later that evening, around 9:45, after Annie went to bed and Abby was fast asleep in her swing, I retired to my computer (where else, heh) and heard not a peep. Ericka came home around 10:30PM, as usual, and the kids had been asleep for about 30-45 minutes...
...or, had they?
Annie was crouched behind the front door, her gown half soaked in urine, and no diaper to be seen. Ericka said "What's wrong honey?" She replied "I poo-pooed on the bed," and started crying. Ericka then saw that she had taken off her diaper and peed (no poop, thankfully) all over the place. Another thankful moment is that she didn't get it on her blankey, something that has grown to immense status in Annie's little world.
But the point is not that she took her diaper off and wet the bed (something that's happened 2-3 times now), but the fact that she didn't say anything about it to me. I have a baby monitor in the bedroom, and I would've heard her if she had cried or called for me.
Which begs the question: Was I too harsh the last time this happened? I tried to explain to Annie, sternly (perhaps a bit more than necessary, sigh), that we pee-pee in the potty, not the bed. At this point I hope she can see past my stern ways, as I certainly didn't say anything mean, harsh, or loud when the event occurred last night.
Parenting is like riding a bike in the dark. You just hope you don't do something stupid, or hit that unseen curb, to make you fall off and feel even worse.
To further my metaphor, I'm afraid I fell off the bike the last time she wet the bed, and I hope that she'll quickly forgive dear ole dad. As with children things change daily, and with my lessoned learned I hope we can move on quickly.
1. Is it really this tiring?
2. Does Annie/Abby act like this around Ericka?
3. Am I being too strict/too lenient with Annie?
4. Is it really this tiring?
In the realm of all things parenting, I think I don't want to be feared per se, but I want respect like any other parent. I want my children to listen to me. Mind, as it were. Yes, when they're two years old they push every limit they have available to them, and I really would love to know when the line needs to be drawn.
I asked Ericka why they go nutty with me yet she handles things so much better. "You're being too lenient with her, so she thinks she can do whatever she wants," Ericka told me.
Now I'm going to pull back the curtain and reveal what might be some painful stuff.
Last night I was pretty harsh, I admit. I tried to let Annie have some freedom, but when she did things that I told her not to do (over and over, of course), she got a quick spanking on the leg or wrist.
So later that evening, around 9:45, after Annie went to bed and Abby was fast asleep in her swing, I retired to my computer (where else, heh) and heard not a peep. Ericka came home around 10:30PM, as usual, and the kids had been asleep for about 30-45 minutes...
...or, had they?
Annie was crouched behind the front door, her gown half soaked in urine, and no diaper to be seen. Ericka said "What's wrong honey?" She replied "I poo-pooed on the bed," and started crying. Ericka then saw that she had taken off her diaper and peed (no poop, thankfully) all over the place. Another thankful moment is that she didn't get it on her blankey, something that has grown to immense status in Annie's little world.
But the point is not that she took her diaper off and wet the bed (something that's happened 2-3 times now), but the fact that she didn't say anything about it to me. I have a baby monitor in the bedroom, and I would've heard her if she had cried or called for me.
Which begs the question: Was I too harsh the last time this happened? I tried to explain to Annie, sternly (perhaps a bit more than necessary, sigh), that we pee-pee in the potty, not the bed. At this point I hope she can see past my stern ways, as I certainly didn't say anything mean, harsh, or loud when the event occurred last night.
Parenting is like riding a bike in the dark. You just hope you don't do something stupid, or hit that unseen curb, to make you fall off and feel even worse.
To further my metaphor, I'm afraid I fell off the bike the last time she wet the bed, and I hope that she'll quickly forgive dear ole dad. As with children things change daily, and with my lessoned learned I hope we can move on quickly.
1 Comments:
You must realize that you are a giant to her... and if you tell her things she is naturally going to fear you. You must work to make sure she understands that you will never hurt her - trust is a very fragile thing to break with someone her age. She may never regain it.
She also probably always spends her time with mom, so she doesn't know you as well. She is testing your limits ... consistency works better than being stern especially with toddlers.
A swat on the bottom (one swat, very gently because you are a big guy with big hands and probably have no idea how rough your swat feels on her body)is all that is appropriate. Not the wrist, not the leg. She didn't tell you about wetting herself beecause she is afraid of what response you will give her. What she learned last night is that if she does something bad, she will get hit. Very simple to a child - they cannot reason with you about how you want them to listen.
Good luck.
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